Laundry Bandit

My sister Brooke and I were doing laundry today at the public Laundromat nearby. We were switching our laundry in and out of machines when a pretty attractive fellow struck up a conversation with me. Can I just pause for one moment to say that I think that the laundry facility is one of the most awkward places to have a flirtatious run in. So continuing, there I was chattin away and rotating clothes when a bra and a pair of unspeakables falls right in between us. His gentleman reflex caused him to slightly bend as if he was going to pick them up for me but he quickly straightened his posture when he realized what he was reaching for. Yep, awkward pause, and in spite of my jokes about the situation, he was gone shortly thereafter.

Brooke had class and had to leave before we were finished. Can I just say, I think the only time class sounds appealing is when you are doing something as exciting as watching your clothes spin in circles. Anyhow, I offered to get her clothes for her. When I returned to the Laundromat to retrieve our clothes, I loaded hers up into the basket that was sitting on her chosen dryer. When Brooke came home late that night she asked me “Oooo where’d you get that laundry basket?” “Uhhh…isn’t that yours?” I questioned. Slowly the realization dawned on both of us that I had totally stolen someone’s basket. Oh no, some innocent individual has lost all faith in the decency of society cus some idiot stole a crummy plastic container. Ahhh, I feel bad. I am having horrifying visions of some poor sole trying to carry their entire wardrobe across the apartment complex. They’ll be forging decorative streams, hurdling boulders, dodging cars, and climbing stairwells as they curse the pathetic person who stole their basket.

Not only did I make it home with a laundry basket that was not mine, but I was disturbed to pull a huge pair of xLarge granny panties from the pile of clean linens. I don’t know where it came from because honestly, I could have easily made a pair of underwear for all six girls in our apartment using this one circus tent. Anyhow, so it was a day to be remembered at the Laundromat. Oh and if you are put out about a laundry basket that some jerk had the nerve to steal, please contact me and I will return it.

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